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Home > Pretend you give a shit with a Charity Bracelet!
The craze continues to sweep the world! People can now support charity by doing absolutely nothing other than using thousands of tons of synthetic material which, recycled or otherwise, could probably be put to much better use elsewhere.
But that's not the point! The Union think that anything that can be done to raise awareness of important issues is the most important thing. And now you can choose for yourself which issues are important with the wide variety of bracelets available. But pick carefully! Go for a mauve bracelet and you'll be supporting the plight of people with AIDS. But go for a very slightly lighter mauve and you'll be supporting the campaign to give Ian Huntley an unconditional discharge.

There have been problems with charity bracelets. One school in Berkshire banned the bracelets after students stopped paying attention to lessons as the bracelets were proving too much of a distraction which eventually lead to a full scale riot between three factions of rival bracelet wearers during a lunch break. Police using water cannons, dogs and Pringles eventually brought the situation under control.

Fire crews had to be called to a playground in Rotherham after a teenaged girl put on so many charity bracelets she began to shrink under the pressure. The girl was rescued but not before being compressed to the size of a drinking fountain. She is currently being stretched back to her original size and a special bracelet has been released to support victims of bracelet compression. The national health and safety executive is now examining calls for all future bracelets to be fitted with an emergency release function.

Also, a charity bracelet designed for blind people to wear to support their cause had to be withdrawn after it was brought to the attention of those wearing them that the bracelets actually said "I'm a wanker" in bold lettering.

But in the face of charity these things happen! The Union fully supports charity bracelets!