Dear Offcourse,

I'm a first year student and I'd just like to say how much I love the Union. Everything they do is great. Words can't describe what a brilliant year I've had here and it's all been 100% down to the Union. It has a shop and everything. Whenever my friends visit they say: "Wow, what a great Union". I don't know what people who have been here a lot longer than me are talking about when they say it's boring and expensive. I'd pay anything to see the same old people every night, drink the same drinks, dance to the same tracks, and keep the horrible diverse and exciting reality that is the real world at bay for another day! I just love it so much! I'd personally lick the rim of each of the sabbs so superb is the Union that they run!

Many thanks!
A Happy First Year Student

Well thanks for that! It's nice to see that even after a whole year of second rate entertainment there are still students who think we do a good job!

Dear Offcourse,

I'm a second year student living off campus. I can't believe that transport between the Union and town is so poor. I mean, Crossroads Halls last year was bad but this is ridiculous. My friend had to walk all the way home from the Union to our house in town at 3am last week. He was attacked by marauders but managed to fend them off with a spear. However, they returned in greater numbers and took him hostage. We eventually had to capitulate to their demands and sent them the moulded patio chair signed by Christian Slater that they requested as ransom and our friend was returned with only a broken eyebrow the next day. In future, we will be using only the much finer establishments in town.

Good day.

Let me explain a few things. Firstly, the Union is an out of date, unresponsive, uncompetitive, financially incompetent organisation and the majority of students we asked like it this way. For those that don't, we have appointed an off campus rep to paper over the gaping cracks in our operations. I therefore feel we did all we can on this issue, accept no responsibility and offer no sympathy for the abduction of your friend. Next time try talking to your Union reps. Dickwad.

Dear Offcourse,

Parking is so bad on campus. I feel this is an important issue to me as I don't like walking. I expect to be able to park when and where I want. I was shocked to return to my car, which was safely parked across the disabled fire escape ramp of the Union, to find a parking steward giving me a ticket! Me! A vehicle owner, living on a centralised campus, with multiple bus services into town, who can't be arsed to walk for more than two minutes, getting a ticket! It's a disgrace. The ticket, which stated that I had been fined and if I didn't move my vehicle within half an hour it would be driven away and deliberately crashed into an orphanage, demanded that I pay £50! This is absurd and discriminates against both myself and other people who can't be arsed to walk anywhere. Why should we foot the bill? The cost of parking fines and permits should be divided between all students on campus, including the ones who don't drive to make it fair.

Thank you,
An angry fat lazy bastard

We're all concerned about parking here. One of the few principals of the Union is to enforce the opinion of an outspoken minority on everyone so we'd be very interested in hearing more of your ideas about dividing parking costs between all students to make it fair if you'd like to get in contact.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in. I look forward to reading more of your letters and emails next time!

Send your comments and letters to offcoursemail@googlemail.com