However, at the Union we recognise that today's student body may not wish to follow those old-fashioned morals. Students today have new sexual role models and influences like Sex And The City, Footballer's Wives and Eminem. So we've launched this new campaign to make sex a little safer giving you the freedom to emulate your favourite gormless over-sexed TV character and freedom from the old-fashioned morals pushed by out of date people!

Although no contraception is 100% effective we'll be providing access to all of them for you so that more people can enjoy the beautiful and liberating experience of waking up in a strange room next to some drooling degenerate who's thrown up all over them during the night.

We appreciate that some people may wish to stick with the old-fashioned ways and that such people may feel outcast and different. But we are working hard on this campaign to let everyone know that it's the normal thing to do to say yes to anyone. Eventually such people will think better of their choices and learn to allow themselves to be violated just like everyone else!

You can visit any of our stands for more information on safe sex so feel free to come along!

If you're someone who has been abstaining and would like to venture into the world of promiscuous sex then why not pick up one of our special 'Loosing It!' packs which includes a condom, a morning after pill, a litre bottle of vodka, a special 'I'm Loosing It!' card which gets you free entry to any Union night plus 5 free doubles from any Union bar, and a special "No need to ask, I'm Loosing It!" t-shirt to wear on the big night!

Remember, there's no need to worry about other people's morals or what they may think.

IT'S LAME TO ABSTAIN!